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As much as I’m a fan of partnered sex, I’ve learned that the best (and easiest) way to elevate any sexual experience is by bringing couples' sex toys into the equation. These are not just toys you use with a partner(s) in the bedroom, but they also include devices that can be controlled remotely, whether you're in a long-distance relationship or your partner is on a business trip.
Advances in sex tech and overall mainstream acceptance have shed the stigma that using one of these gadgets means something is lacking in a couple’s sex life. Instead, these sex toys are seen as an extra hand, so to speak, allowing for deeper exploration and other ways to experience pleasure together. Not sure where to start? Don't worry, I've got you covered. I've been testing and reviewing sex toys for close to a decade, and I’m here to help you figure out exactly which couples' sex toy is going to be most compatible for you and your partner. Not every sex toy on this list may apply to every gender and sexuality, but there’s still something for everyone here.
Be sure to check out our other sex tech guides, including the Best Sex Toys, Best Vibrators, Best Clitoral Suction Toys, Best Lubes, Best Sex Machines, and Best Mattresses for Sex.
Why Might You Want a Couples' Sex Toy?
There’s no one reason why someone might want to give a couples' sex toy a try. For some, it may be simply a matter of curiosity and seeing what all the hubbub is about, while for others, there could be an interest in wanting to explore other ways in which sexual pleasure can be enjoyed together.
It’s important to realize that wanting to experiment with couples' sex toys doesn’t say anything negative about your sex life or even remotely suggests that something is lacking. Instead, being open to the idea of speaks volumes as to how much you and your partner prioritize the sexual aspect of your relationship and your desire to understand each other’s wants and needs better, as well as work on your communication skills when it comes to sex-related topics.
How to Broach the Subject of Sex Toys With Your Partner
If you and your partner have never used couples' sex toys (or even standard sex toys for that matter), then the first step is broaching the subject in an honest and open way. If you’re someone who already has a stash of sex toys you use when you’re rolling solo, then you can start the conversation by explaining how much pleasure you derive from using sex toys alone and that it’s something you’d like to share with them.
Although sex toy use has become very mainstream, there are still some people who aren’t totally on board. Some partners might see the subject of couples' sex toys as you hinting that you’re not satisfied in the relationship. If this is the feedback you get from your partner, it’s important to explain that using sex toys together isn’t about replacing a partner but rather about making what you already have even better. After all, sex tech innovation can do things that the human body just can’t, creating other ways to have fun and even tap into possible kinks neither one of you may have realized you had.
What to Look for in a Couples' Sex Toy?
The first thing to take into consideration is what interests you most. Are you looking for a bit of a helping hand in the clitoral stimulation department during penetration or are you looking for a device that can aid in foreplay, so both you and your partner can prolong those intimate sessions? If you and your partner are in a long-distance relationship and are hoping to find a vibrating dildo, cock ring, or butt plug that can be controlled by an app, then that’s the direction to take your search.
Reading reviews of couples' sex toys, as well as the information on device’s packaging will really help guide you in your search. You may find yourself dealing with a bit of trial and error, but that’s part of the fun.
No matter what toy you decide on, you want to make sure it’s made of body-safe silicone, especially if it will be used internally. In addition to material, features are also something to consider. For example, does it stimulate via suction or vibration? Is it waterproof or only splash-proof? Is it best for someone with a penis or someone with a clitoris? Being able to answer these questions before you start your couples sex toy shopping will really help you narrow down what’s likely to be the best fit for you and your partner.
Best Overall
Courtesy of Dame
Dame
Eva Wearable Vibrator
Dame may not have invented the couples' sex toy, but it certainly perfected it with the Eva. Wearable, hands-free, and with flexible wings that make sure it stays put, nestled into your labia, Eva is the ideal sex toy for those with vulvas to wear during partnered sex. While some wearable vibrators can get in the way during penetration, the Eva is designed to work with both bodies seamlessly. It's also incredibly easy to use, with only one button and three vibration intensities, meaning once it’s in place, it doesn’t require any finagling.
While the Eva is designed for vulvas, most specifically clitoral stimulation, that doesn’t mean the other partner needs a penis for it to be enjoyable. The Eva is also great for non-penetrative sex, as well as other positions and, should the mood strike, anal intercourse. With Eva, as long as one partner has a vulva, how you use it and enjoy it is really up to you.
Made of medical-grade silicone. Best for clitoral stimulation.
Best Suction Toy
Courtesy of We-Vibe
Suction toys are great for anyone who prefers a suction sensation to vibration when it comes to clitoral stimulation. Among sex toys, they were the last to get on board with app capability, but now their feature set is typically on par with any other category of sex toy.
The We-Vibe Melt 2 provides everything a clit-sucking-lover needs: pleasure air technology, 12 modes that offer both varied intensities and patterns, and the easy-to-use We-Connect app. We-Vibe was one of the very first companies to introduce the ability to link sex toys to apps, meaning it has it down to a science. One partner can control it remotely via the app, and it'll last up to two hours on a single charge.
Made of body-safe silicone. Best for clitoral stimulation.
Best for Kinky Exploration
Courtesy of Amazon
Lovense
Gemini Nipple Clamps
If you’re new to the kinky side of life, knowing where to start can feel overwhelming, especially when it comes to couples' sex toys. That’s why the Lovense Gemini Vibrating Nipple Clamps (8/10, WIRED Recommends) is the perfect introduction.
The Gemini takes nipple play to new heights thanks to its ability to do what fingers and mouths can’t do: vibrate, making it great for newbies and nipple play enthusiasts. It’s also hands-free and app-controlled, so once you clamp your nipples, you can let your partner take control of your pleasure. While not the most discreet couples' sex toy, a bulky sweater can easily keep your secret safe if you're into public play.
Made of silicone and ABS plastic. Great for all bodies.
Best Cock Ring
Photograph: Dame
Dame
Hug Vibrating Couples Ring
Dame tries to keep things simple, so there's no app or remote connectivity here. And yet, the Dame Hug (9/10, WIRED Recommends) quickly became one of my partner’s and my favorite toys. The Hug is a vibrating cock ring that comfortably wraps around the penis with its flexible (and pinchable!) arms, something you don’t usually find in cock rings. The main body of the toy targets the clitoris, keeping it stimulated with five intensity levels and five patterns. Having tried many cock rings in my life, the Hug easily sits above the rest, as its design is focused on pleasure for both partners. It also stayed put during various position changes.
Made of medical-grade silicone. Best for couples where one partner has a penis and the other has a vulva.
Best Wearable Vibrator
Courtesy of Lovense
Courtesy of Lovense
Lovense
Ferri Panty Vibrator
If taking your couples play into public spaces is something you have in mind, then it’s necessary to find a wearable vibrator that doesn’t just hit all the right spots, but is actually comfortable. That’s where the Lovense Ferri Panty Vibrator (8/10, WIRED Recommends) comes in. The Ferri is designed to fit into the folds of the labia, unlike other panty vibrators that are flat and merely sit against it. The Ferri delivers vibrations from every inch of its surface, but the most intense vibes are located in the peak of the product, which fits snuggly against the clitoris.
This isn’t exactly a toy for anyone trying couples' sex toys for the first time—your best bet is to start with the Dame Eva—but when you’re ready to be adventurous, this is a perfect step in that direction. It’s whisper-quiet, 100 percent waterproof, and the Lovenese app makes controlling the Ferri a breeze, no matter how close or far apart you and your partner might be.
Made of silicone and ABS plastic. Best for clitoral stimulation.
Best Palm Vibrator
Photograph: Dame
Dame
Pom Flexible Vibrator
Once you give Dame Pom (8/10, WIRED Recommends) a try, there’s a very good chance it will become a favorite. The Pom is a sex toy that lets couples slow things down, giving them the time to explore each other’s bodies deeply and intimately. Although it’s normal that after years together, couples can get into patterns and habits when it comes to their sex life, with the Pom palm vibrator, you have the opportunity to reset things and expand what you thought you knew about each other’s sexual pleasure.
Shaped to fit comfortably in any palm, the Pom is flexible, has 10 vibration modes, and also has a slightly peaked ridge for places where you want to be precise in stimulation. From nipples to vulva to penises, and every place in between, the Pom satisfies everything it touches. There's no app or remote connectivity here, but with a few drops of water-based lube, the Pom will help your partner glide seamlessly from one erogenous zone to the next.
Made of medical-grade silicone. Great for all bodies.
Other Sex Toys to Consider
Here are a few other toys that aren't as great as the picks above but are still worth a try.
Courtesy of Lelo
Lelo Tor 3 for $116: If you love cock rings but would love them even more if they were app-enabled, then meet the Lelo Tor 3. While at first the Tor 3 looks very snug, this ring is extremely flexible, making it a perfect fit for all penises or strap-ons, if that’s how you prefer to use this device, as it's designed to stimulate the clitoris when paired with a partner who has a vulva. Although you can score a whopping two hours of playtime with Tor 3, it’s paramount that you don’t exceed 30 minutes of restricted blood flow to the penis. And if at any time things start to hurt—not in a good way—remove the ring immediately. The Tor 3 doesn’t have the pinchable arms that the Dame Hug has, so it’s up to the users to be cognizant of time limits and potential side effects.
Unbound Bender for $69: The Unbound Bender isn’t marketed as a couples’ sex toy, but as far as I’m concerned, it absolutely is. The Bender is called that because it bends this way and that, making both external and internal stimulation fun. Similar to the Dame Pom, this isn’t a toy that’s connected to an app, but it allows for couples to experiment with different types of stimulation, from head to toe, either as foreplay or as the main course. With 10 vibration modes and two hours of run time, you and your partner can light some candles, put on your favorite album, and explore each other’s bodies. In addition to being used on all your favorite external erogenous zones, the Bender is also safe for both vaginal and anal play, and its versatility really allows you to get creative in how you choose to use it.
B-Vibe Rimming Plug 2 for $108: Ilana Wexler said, "It’s 2014. Anal is on the menu” in Broad City over a decade ago, so it would be profoundly wrong not to include the remote-controlled b-Vibe Rimming Plug 2. It falls into the couples' sex toy category thanks to its easy-to-use remote, and whether you’re new to anal stimulation or a seasoned fan, this is a plug that gives you everything you’d want. It’s not too big, and folks with prostates will thoroughly enjoy the internal stimulation, not to mention the rotating beads at the base of the plug to stimulate the anus, adding a sensation that can be enjoyed by anyone who has a butt.
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